Interview with Ross Ulbricht, founder of the 'Silk Road': Life in prison before being pardoned

Original interview: Bitcoin Magazine;

Guest: Ross Ulbricht, founder of the Silk Road;

Compiled by Ashley, BlockBeats

Editor’s note: This interview took place in 2021, marking the first public statement from Ross Ulbricht, the founder of Silk Road, since the closure of his website. In the conversation, he reflects on the original intention of creating Silk Road, expresses his belief in freedom and privacy, and deeply apologizes for the consequences it has brought. Ross describes his painful experiences in prison and, at the end of the interview, once again conveys his strong hope for the future of Bitcoin. This interview is not only his personal outcry, but also a call for social justice and human dignity.

The following is the original content (for ease of reading comprehension, the original content has been reorganized):

David Bailey (Bitcoin Magazine): I would like to introduce Peter Chawaga from the Bitcoin Magazine team. I must say that it is a great honor for us to have the opportunity to interview our next guest. This is his first interview with Bitcoin Magazine, and it is definitely a historic moment. I am extremely proud of Peter’s work. Also, if you don’t have tissues, please prepare them now, because you may cry by the end, okay?

Peter Chawaga (Bitcoin Magazine): Thank you, David. Today, we have discussed many exciting topics and reviewed various amazing stories surrounding Bitcoin over the years. But this part is truly special. So I appreciate your presence, and I really feel that this moment is worth all the attention. So before we play the recording, I have prepared a statement to introduce the content to everyone. Like many of you here, the first time I heard about the real-world application of Bitcoin was through a platform called ‘Silk Road’. It was launched in 2011, a website accessed through IP address-hiding software, where users could buy and sell goods in a censorship-resistant manner. It quickly became the first significant use case for Bitcoin. This completely aligns with many of the unique features of Bitcoin - features that we celebrate and are proud of today. It provided users with a free, open, and censorship-resistant market.

The founder of the Silk Road is a 26-year-old libertarian, scientist, entrepreneur, and early Bitcoin user named Ross Ulbricht. The website was shut down in less than three years, and Ross was arrested by federal authorities. Despite being a first-time offender and not convicted of violent crimes, he was sentenced to two life imprisonments plus 40 years. He has been in prison for nearly eight years. Earlier this week, I had the opportunity to interview Ross from prison, and today we are going to share the recording of that interview. This is the first time Ross has spoken to the public by phone since the Silk Road was shut down.

Before we start, I’d like to talk about my personal feelings about speaking with Ross. My impression of him is that he is a kind, gentle, and surprisingly positive person, especially given his circumstances. He does not at all give me the impression of a violent criminal, as the media often portrays him. When you hear his voice, I know Ross is a legendary figure in this circle and in broader fields, but I hope you remember that he is a flesh-and-blood person. He faces the possibility of never gaining freedom, yet he maintains hope and strength in an impressively resilient way. So, now please listen to this recording, I hope you enjoy it.

Ross Ulbricht: Hello.

Peter Chawaga (Bitcoin Magazine): Hello Ross, I’m Peter from Bitcoin Magazine.

Ross Ulbricht: Hello, I’m Ross Ulbricht, calling you today from the federal maximum security prison. We don’t have much time today, and I don’t know if there will be another chance to talk like this with you. I will try to say more, but when the time is up, I have to hang up and return to my cell. I have lost my freedom, and that’s what I want to talk to you about today. I want you to understand what it means to lose your freedom. But first, let’s talk about Bitcoin.

I was involved in the early development of Bitcoin. At that time, Bitcoin made me feel that anything was possible. Bitcoin is for everyone, which is why I like it the most. It’s like putting everyone on the same starting line. When the concept of Bitcoin really dawned on me, I was excited. I thought that through Bitcoin, I could try to do something really meaningful. By the way, before I went to prison, there weren’t as many cryptocurrencies, tokens, and various blockchains as there are now. I missed all of this. So for me, these are all the same: forks, new blockchains, all of these. When I say Bitcoin, I don’t differentiate between them. It may sound a bit cliché, but to me, we are family.

I was very excited at the time, but also very impatient. I saw the potential of Bitcoin in terms of freedom and equality, but I didn’t take the time to truly understand its principles, such as immutability, consensus, and of course, decentralization. I had many grand dreams for Bitcoin, and these dreams are slowly coming true. This is because of you, you are realizing those dreams. You are doing what I didn’t have the patience to do at the time. Over the past eight years, I have been amazed at the progress we have made.

But at the time, I was too impatient. I rushed into my first idea - Silk Road. It was a website I created at the age of 26, which was over a decade ago. It used Bitcoin to protect people’s privacy. I called it an anonymous market. At that time, I thought, if Bitcoin can make payments anonymous and private, why wait? Why just talk about it? Take action! It was the impulsive behavior of a 26-year-old who thought he had to save the world before others. I didn’t know if Silk Road would be successful, but now we all know that it did become popular. It was used for drug trafficking, and I ended up in prison because of it. I was sentenced to two life sentences without parole plus 40 years. I was a non-violent first-time offender, but that didn’t change anything. I will have to spend the next few decades, or even longer, in this cell, until I grow old and die in the cell centuries later, finally leaving prison in a body bag.

A few days ago, I received a letter from a stranger. He thanked me for launching the Silk Road. He believes that without the Silk Road, Bitcoin would not have developed to where it is today. I’m not sure. But whether it’s good or bad, the Silk Road has become part of Bitcoin’s history. However, I also worry that by launching the Silk Road, I may have made our path more difficult. We will never know what would have happened if history was different, but I want to say that if my actions made our path more difficult, I am sorry. If my actions contributed to drug abuse and addiction, I am sorry as well. I was just trying to do a good thing, trying to help us move towards a freer and more equal world. But we all know that the road to hell is often paved with good intentions. And now, I am in hell.

I want you to understand what it means to lose freedom. Let me start with the ‘solitary confinement’. It has many names, ‘dark room’, ‘isolation room’, ‘box’, but for me, it is the ‘abyss’. The abyss is a prison within a prison. I was kept in the abyss for four consecutive months. It’s not easy for me to say, but I’ll try to tell you. The abyss can drive people to the brink of collapse, but it can also reshape a person. There was a time when I felt my mind was out of control. I felt the walls closing in on me, and I felt the need to escape that small room. This feeling lasted for several days, and then I started pounding the walls, kicking the heavy iron door. Deep inside, there was a desperate longing for freedom. I couldn’t accept being here, or accept everything that happened to me.

But in the end, I realized that I had to pick myself up. This pressure was crushing me. It may sound strange, but what saved me was gratitude. What could I be grateful for in such a tiny room? Well, I had air, didn’t I? Maybe it was polluted air, but I could still breathe. I had water to drink, even though it might not have been clean, it didn’t make me sick. Food came in every day through a small slot in the door. I knew I wasn’t forgotten. My family, I knew they were still waiting for me, and someday this would all be over, and my family would still be there.

I forgave everyone who brought my life to this point. I had to do it. Because anger cannot harm them, only hurt me, so I have to let go. I had a dream in the abyss, dreaming that I was free. I was in a park, feeling a great sense of relief. I am no longer imprisoned. But then I started to worry, am I out on bail? Will they put me back in again? I started to think about escaping, the anxiety woke me up. When I woke up, I was back in the abyss. At that moment, everything that happened to me - life imprisonment, high-security prison, months of solitary confinement - all came crashing down on me all at once. It felt as if everything was collapsing.

I want you to understand what it really means to lose freedom. After I was sentenced, my mother went on a tour in Europe to speak about my ordeal and seek help. During her time in Poland, she started feeling unwell and had to return home early. The next morning, I called my sister from prison. As soon as she picked up the phone, she said, ‘You don’t know about Mom yet, do you?’ I asked her, ‘What happened to Mom?’ She replied in a voice that made my heart sink, ‘Oh, Ross, Ross, Ross.’ Upon hearing these words, I instantly understood that my sister was about to tell me that our mother had passed away.

But then she said, “Mom is in the hospital.” When I heard this, I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking, “Thank goodness, she’s not dead.” But then I realized, “Being in the hospital is not good news either.” In fact, my mother’s heart stopped during breakfast, and it was my uncle who performed CPR to save her. She was then rushed to the hospital. When I called, she was still unconscious in the hospital, and we didn’t know if she would survive or if there would be brain damage. Although no one explicitly said it, I knew it was my fault. Since the day I was arrested, she hadn’t rested a single day in two years. She worked tirelessly every day for my freedom, enduring tremendous pressure until her body couldn’t take it anymore.

The doctor said she had a disease called ‘stress-induced cardiomyopathy,’ but I call it ‘broken heart syndrome.’ It was me who broke my mother’s heart and almost killed her. The pain I caused my family is indescribable. When I took the risk back then, I didn’t consider them enough. Thank God, my mother has fully recovered. Eight years have passed, and she still works tirelessly for me every day. But the whole incident, my imprisonment, was devastating for her. It was the same for my fiancee, my father, my sister, and the entire family. They are all suffering.

I want you to understand that the loss of freedom is not just about being in a cage, nor is it just about the devastating blow that this imprisonment has on your family. Putting a person in a cage until they die is the most brutal torture of a person. In order for the public to accept such a punishment, one must be persuaded to believe that the person is evil and a non-human being. After I was arrested, I was approached by a prisoner with a magazine in his hand. He said to me, “Ross, they wrote about you in the magazine.” I flipped through the article and saw an illustration. The face in that painting was similar to my facial features, but the skin was sallow, the eyes were bloodshot, and my body was slumped like a monster. I couldn’t face the image and tossed the magazine aside. I felt a pain in my chest as if it had been torn apart by a sharp claw.

The prisoner said, ‘At least see what they’re saying.’ I asked him, ‘Why? Why listen to others slander you, lie about you, and not be able to refute it?’ He fell silent. Later that day, he told me that they had treated him the same way, smearing him on national television news. It was an article in a local newspaper, but it was the same for all of us. That’s why I don’t want to read it. He tore the article off, ripped it into pieces, and threw it in the trash. He said, ‘I don’t want to read it either.’ This meant a lot to me. He said, ‘I don’t want to read it either.’ It gave me hope – hope that you won’t see me as a monster.

They portrayed me as a violent drug lord, and this is not me. It was a lie, an elaborate fabricated lie to justify putting me in prison until I died. This lie is meant to make you cold to me and your hearts shut to me. They lie on court records, they cheat, it’s on the record. They stole and two agents went to jail for it. These are factual records. They falsified the evidence, destroyed the evidence, and planted false evidence. These are also documented.

At some point, they were even figuring out how to sentence me to death. They had considered injecting chemicals into my veins to stop my heartbeat. I once dreamed of a man holding a syringe to my chin, getting closer and closer. I leaned my back against the wall, every muscle tense, trying to escape. I woke up when the tip of the syringe almost touched my skin. When I woke up, I found myself in the tense position I had dreamed of, gasping for air and my heart pounding. I can still feel the fear of the needle approaching me.

Do you begin to understand what it means to lose your freedom? It means living in constant fear. So why did it take me so many years to speak to you? Because I was afraid. Even now, I am strongly warned not to talk to you. They tell me that this will only anger the authorities and completely eliminate the little chance I have left in court. My intention is not to anger anyone, yes, I am afraid. Afraid of retaliation, afraid that because of my speech to you today, I will be thrown into the ‘abyss’ again or encounter even worse things. But I have learned that blindly obeying fear is sometimes as dangerous as completely ignoring it. Eight years have quietly slipped away. During these eight years, I tried to block out the lies, only focusing on getting through each day and trying to be strong for my family. But today, now, I want to convey a message to those who care about me, and to those who mindlessly repeat those lies: Please stop. You are hurting me. Please stop. You know what you are saying is not true. You are hurting me and my family. Please stop.

I want you to understand what it means to lose your freedom. Ironically, I created the ‘Silk Road’ in the first place because I wanted to advance the things I cared about - freedom, privacy, and equality. But because of the ‘Silk Road,’ I ended up in a place where these values don’t exist. And I’m not the only one. Prison is filled with people who shouldn’t be there. We are mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, but in your eyes, we are portrayed as monsters, deprived of our human dignity.

However, there is Bitcoin. Bitcoin has been changing the world since the first block of the blockchain. Let me tell you something: we are just getting started. Whenever Bitcoin is accepted somewhere in the world, freedom and equality follow. Bitcoin is a symbol of freedom.

Now, take a look at the situation we are in. On one side is the loss of freedom, despair, and darkness; on the other side is Bitcoin, freedom, equality, and hope. These two cannot coexist, so the darkness must be concealed and ignored. But please listen to me, I am shouting to you from that darkness. This is a cry for help. My mother cannot do this alone. I am shouting not just for myself, but for all of us. We need your help. We need you to see a clear contrast between the freedom of Bitcoin and being imprisoned until death. Today, right now, we have a choice. Do we want to ignore what is happening? Ignore the loss of freedom? Ignore dehumanization? Or do we want to wake up?

Listen, Bitcoin is powerful, Bitcoin has power. We also have power, but our work is not done yet. It’s time to wake up, it’s time to take the next step. In the past eight years, I have witnessed the growth of Bitcoin. I have seen incredible innovations and inspiring courage. In the early days of Bitcoin, we didn’t know how it would develop. But over the years, you have repeatedly impressed me. You make me proud, and I have no doubt that we can achieve any goal.

We are changing the global economy and bringing the breath of freedom and equality to every corner of the world. I know that we can also change the criminal justice system. Today, I challenge you to look at the most difficult problems. I challenge you to shine the light of Bitcoin on the darkest corners. I challenge you to let us achieve freedom.

I have seen some of my friends, who have been in prison for many years or even decades, return home. Some have even been released from life imprisonment. Every time this happens, I am moved to tears. Seeing someone regain their freedom, seeing them reunite with their families, this feeling is unparalleled. It’s beautiful, yet painful, like a miracle. We need more miracles.

I’m about to hang up the phone soon. But I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to go back to that cell. I want to be with you. Talking with you today is the greatest freedom I have felt in a long time. Thank you, thank you for your attention. I will never forget this day. The memory of this day can never be taken away.

Okay, I’m leaving. Thank you, goodbye.

David Bailey (Bitcoin Magazine): Ladies and gentlemen, we are truly fortunate today. Lyn (Ross’s mother) is also here with us. If you see her, please give her a hug for Ross, and for all of us. This is what Bitcoin is all about - freedom, and freeing Ross. We owe him, and the world, a fair judgment. Let’s applaud for Ross, and for this moment today. Thank you all.