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Trump’s 40-minute CNBC interview transcript: “Recommend listening like a stand-up comedy—don’t treat it as news”
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Trump’s interview tonight—how do I put it? I pulled out his words and lined them up, and the comedic effect just appeared.
“We had very successful negotiations with Iran.” Right after that, “This is regime change.” The next one: “The U.S. fully controls the Strait of Hormuz.” Bro, are you negotiating, or writing a coronation decree?
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“We don’t want to extend the ceasefire again.” “We don’t have that much time.” Then he pivots: “I have plenty of time to reach an agreement.” “I won’t be forced into making decisions.” So is he in a rush or not? His tongue and his brain are probably in different time zones.
“Our posture is that we’re prepared to bomb Iran, and we’re ready.” “The troops can’t wait to take action.” After saying that, he immediately cuts to the next line: “Hope to reach a good agreement with Iran—can’t push for it too hard.” Left hand offers roses, right hand is on a rocket launcher, saying “Take your time thinking—I’m not in a hurry.”
As for the Federal Reserve—this is even more amazing. “I’ve always supported raising interest rates to combat inflation, and the effect of rate hikes has been pretty good.” Ten seconds later: “The U.S. should always keep the lowest interest rates globally.” Between those two lines, there isn’t even a comma for a breath—how does he manage to say it without blushing?
“The Federal Reserve building might cost more than $4 billion—we have to find out why the costs are going over budget.” “If Wosh can’t cut interest rates immediately after taking office, I’ll be disappointed.” Investigating corruption while pushing for rate cuts—Powell probably wants to hit someone.
“College sports are now a disaster.” “The enemy is getting tariff refunds.” “I don’t like the merger of United Airlines and American Airlines.” “The UAE took a big hit, but the leadership is awesome—consider giving them some money.” “NATO is useless.” “Europe should handle immigration and energy on its own.” With that much topic density and that wide a logic span, it makes you wonder if he isn’t doing an interview at all—just randomly playing the barrage comments in his own head.
The most amazing part is this line: “Anthropic’s people have very high intelligence.” Right after that: “Replacing Anthropic with people like OpenAI CEO Altman.” So high IQ—so replaced? The cause-and-effect relationship probably only his hairstyle can straighten out.
Forty minutes—talking from Iran’s nuclear facilities to a Spirit Airlines acquisition, from cutting rates at the Fed to college sports. Not a single line is redundant, because each one feels like it was cut out from a different show.
The interview ends. That push notification saying “The interview has ended” is probably the only line tonight that didn’t get reversed.
#美伊停火倒计时:万斯紧急赴巴 $BTC #美伊二轮谈判进展 #比特币反弹